I got featured on the Huffington Post! Pretty cool, right? I mean Ariana and I haven't had the customary conversation you're supposed to have with her, which is pretty much you staring at her, not understanding either what she's saying or why you want to badly to have sex with her, am I right ladies? But still it is an enormous honor to be featured on her site, man alive!
Here's the link. And here's the link
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/brett-erlich/viral-video-film-school_b_108186.html
Friday, June 20, 2008
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Claire Danes
I want to start a deep spiritual relationship with Claire Danes. I think she and I would get along. Is it the way she laughs in the movie Igby Goes Down? Is it the curl of her hair in the movie Igby Goes Down? No. It's whoever she played on My So Called Life, that show my friends watched and I vaguely knew about. And still know.
In order to start this relationship, I'd have to go back in time to find her, as she was, then. And since it's been less than 15 years since then, the task should be pretty easy. Easier, at least, than going back farther in time, because of how much extra stuff you have to bring when you go farther anywhere, especially in time. The further back you go the less likely it is you can follow the old adage, "If you forget something, they'll probably have it there." Rite Aid, for example, doesn't exist too far in the past, and thus, transitively, Thrifty Ice Creams, so bring plenty of that, along with the cylindrical scoop that made them so famous they went out of business. I guess what I'm trying to say is: "If you go back in time, a: Don't steal Claire Danes; she's mine, and b: make people buy more Thrifty Ice Cream."
But if I discover you're using that Ice Cream to woo Claire, man alive, I'll kill you with my hands. Whenever you are.
1995 Claire Danes symbolizes a better time. That's why we need her here.
We have A Claire Danes here now, but she's different. To put it in perspective, she stars in next year's ME AND ORSON WELLES, where she plays neither Me nor Orson Welles. Christian McCay (of RIOT AT THE RITE fame) plays Orson Welles, while the role of Me by all accounts went to Zach Efron from HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL and VARIOUS OTHER SIGNS OF THE APOCALYPSE.
But really it's not Claire as a person. It's the idea of her character, whose name escapes me but whose essence nonetheless makes me feel safe, like a chicken locked in a safe.
Until I find a way to get to the idea of her incarnated, I'm gonna go to bed. Evenin'
In order to start this relationship, I'd have to go back in time to find her, as she was, then. And since it's been less than 15 years since then, the task should be pretty easy. Easier, at least, than going back farther in time, because of how much extra stuff you have to bring when you go farther anywhere, especially in time. The further back you go the less likely it is you can follow the old adage, "If you forget something, they'll probably have it there." Rite Aid, for example, doesn't exist too far in the past, and thus, transitively, Thrifty Ice Creams, so bring plenty of that, along with the cylindrical scoop that made them so famous they went out of business. I guess what I'm trying to say is: "If you go back in time, a: Don't steal Claire Danes; she's mine, and b: make people buy more Thrifty Ice Cream."
But if I discover you're using that Ice Cream to woo Claire, man alive, I'll kill you with my hands. Whenever you are.
1995 Claire Danes symbolizes a better time. That's why we need her here.
We have A Claire Danes here now, but she's different. To put it in perspective, she stars in next year's ME AND ORSON WELLES, where she plays neither Me nor Orson Welles. Christian McCay (of RIOT AT THE RITE fame) plays Orson Welles, while the role of Me by all accounts went to Zach Efron from HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL and VARIOUS OTHER SIGNS OF THE APOCALYPSE.
But really it's not Claire as a person. It's the idea of her character, whose name escapes me but whose essence nonetheless makes me feel safe, like a chicken locked in a safe.
Until I find a way to get to the idea of her incarnated, I'm gonna go to bed. Evenin'
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